Grief Awareness, Sibling Suicide Loss and Researcher Positionality
This week has been #GriefAwarenessWeek. The timing, whilst undoubtedly an aid to some/many, for me is somewhat awkward - despite my continuing wish to be open about grief (particularly that following a suicide loss) as an experience, I personally don’t particularly want to be ‘Grief Aware’ this week. I am all too cognizant that I will again be grief-clouded next week, given its Friday conclusion marks 12 years since my brother Martin’s death. Good things have been happening in my academic life recently, not least the passing of my second PhD two weeks ago. Yet the pride, relief, dare I say happiness that I feel is tinged with degrees of both sadness and guilt; none of the achievements would have occurred without my brother’s passing. Suicide-loss grief has been, and will probably remain, central to my research, approach activity and career now, and that can be difficult to internally reconcile/contend with at times. I silently convey ‘thank yous’ to Martin, but in all honesty that can